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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26277367">After Liberty Died</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowDistress/pseuds/YellowDistress'>YellowDistress</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcoholic Kanan is having a bad time, Alternate Universe, Kanan Jarrus Has PTSD, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Kanan blames the Force for all of his problems, Kid Fic, Parental Kanan Jarrus, Space Dad Kanan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:22:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26277367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowDistress/pseuds/YellowDistress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Kanan had learned to survive. That was his accomplishment. That was what kept him going. The Force was too dangerous now. Its only use was to get him targeted by the Empire. Unfortunately, the Force has ways of not being ignore; leading Kanan to cross paths with a young child on Lothal.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ezra Bridger &amp; Kanan Jarrus, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>After Liberty Died</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Soooooo I know I've never posted anything other than Irondad on this account. But how about some spacedad yeah? XD<br/>So I have a confession. Years ago I posted this very same chapter to ff.net (you know back in the gap). It was the only story I had written on that account. It was one of my first stories to ever write actually, besides All the Devils are Here! Which is crazy.<br/>Anyway, I only wrote one chapter and posted it. But I was rewatching Rebels and remembered I still had it completely plotted on my computer, and since I put so much effort into plotting it, I decided I'd post the first chapter here. I don't know how soon I'll update it. Mostly because I'm doing graduate school and working. I mean, you can see my other in progress story hasn't been updated in a while. BUT, like I said, I plotted this whole thing out like three years ago, and I thought it would be a shame to never let it see the light of day. </p>
<p>Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think! I know this series concluded quite a while ago, but I'm sure someone, somewhere might enjoy haha! And if not, at least it's here for my own amusement.</p>
<p>And if you're one of my usual readers and you're used to Iron Dad content I'm sorry :( sometimes inspiration just hits ya!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If he ever made it to twenty-three, his liver was going to be toast.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan hid the bottle far under the blanket, trying to make his lounging on the bunk seem natural. If Hera found out he had snuck alcohol aboard the Ghost, her head would either explode or he would be thrown off the ship. Actually, both were possible with the woman during her fits. Even though she was often even tempered, Kanan had a way of getting under her skin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was very strict about her rules.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan had learned this, in only the nine standard months he had spent with her. He had learned it through barging in too late, taking her soap, and most importantly: drinking. Each infraction had come with a finger poking him harshly on his chest and she was just <em>so much</em> shorter than him that he had to fight from laughing. Because the one time he <em>had </em>laughed…Well, he had been left with a hand sized mark across his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera had no patience for childish things aboard her ship and sometimes it was hard for Kanan to believe that she was younger than himself. She was the adult. She got him up on time for assignments, assignments he didn’t ask about or care to know about. His room and board was what he wanted and as long as he helped her, he got what was his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was good at stealing, after all. He had been doing it since he was fourteen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan took another swig, not even flinching at the burn of the brown liquid. He hadn’t the slightest clue what it was, but it had been cheap and he had been in a good enough position to sneak it on board, so he jumped at the chance to buy it from the vendor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera hadn’t noticed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If she had, she would have ended him. Kanan didn’t mind her strictness though, it kept him put together enough to actually remember the beginning and ending of each day. He didn’t sleep constantly and when he was awake it wasn’t filled with stealing and other less-than-ethical practices. It was spent doing things that mattered, even if that wasn’t his true goal.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At least he didn’t feel exhausted constantly, like he had.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Truly, he felt lucky to have met the Twi’lek on Gorse those nine months ago. Even if it meant fending off Hera’s insistence of him being officially indoctrinated into the rebellion. But, he refused. He didn’t want to join another war. The Clone Wars had ripped him apart, the Purge had taken his master, his entire life had fallen with the Republic. He wasn’t going to willingly step into another one, especially one being led by some faceless person named ‘Fulcrum’.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was enough to make his heart pound. Not another war….Not another war…Not another-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The door to his room slid open suddenly, causing him to tighten his hand around the glass bottle and tense up his shoulders. There Hera stood, her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed on him. Kanan glared back and snapped, “Don’t you knock?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My ship,” Hera responded, “I don’t have to knock…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, her face scrunched up. Confusion. Realization. She approached the bed without hesitation and Kanan jumped when she yanked the blanket back. Kanan barely had time to shout, “Hey!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera yanked the bottle from his grasp and huffed, “You dirty little…I knew I smelled something! You have a supply run in six hours! Are you trying to let all of Lothal know you’ve arrived?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child, “You’re being dramatic.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She flicked his ear and returned fire, “You’re being s<em>tupid.</em> We have to be on Tatooine in the next few weeks and Lothal is our best bet at getting the supplies we need. So, I’m taking this and you’re going to get some sleep so you can earn your keep when we arrive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She turned on her heels and Kanan called after her, “Still no word from the ‘Miss-Mysterious’ about why we’re going to Tatooine in the first place?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera sighed, putting a hand on the doorframe, “Not <em>yet. </em>But she’ll tell us when we arrive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan didn’t respond verbally, just made a grunting sound. Hera sighed, “If you’d just be officially indoctrinated –“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” Kanan replied dully, “Don’t start.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera made a face and if looks could kill, Kanan’s soul would have entered the cosmos in that instant. But instead of fueling the fire, Hera walked out, sliding the door shut behind her. Kanan rolled over, pouting about his drink.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A deep part in his belly tugged and Kanan ignored it. The Force was calling for his attention, as it always did if he didn’t bury it with some kind of help. Like a child tugging at the edge of his night-shirt, he shooed it away, already frustrated with the universe. It was heavier than usual, and as the day had drug on, it continued to increase.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had the urge to tell it to go away, but the Force wasn’t the type to listen to orders from mere <em>humans. </em>Mere…<em>never-were </em>Jedi. Still, it called to him and as the years went by, it became harder and harder to ignore it. It screamed louder to him, as if in anguish that he had turned away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Like a lover being left behind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he couldn’t reach out. Never again. Not with Inquisitors roaming the galaxy, wiping the existence of the Jedi off. He had to remove that part of himself. He had to pretend he hadn’t grown up in the temples. He had to pretend he had never known the comfort of the Force. Only through meditation did he allow it. That was the only piece he gave himself. A crumb while the universe got to have a feast on his brothers and sisters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had come to terms with the fact that, that part of his life was dead and buried. That this was the reality of surviving Order 66.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was nothing else. Nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“There is no death…Only the Force.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan snorted, “Sure.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His eyes fluttered closed and he hoped sleep would envelope him soon. If not, he would fall into thoughts of self-hatred and such things were deadly. It made the goal of survival clouded. Opaque with the thought of<em>, “It doesn’t have to be this way. You could end it all.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>But if Kanan had ever let that demon in, he would have been dead long ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chopper whirled eagerly beside his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan groaned, shoving the droid away viciously. He huffed, “Back <em>off </em>you piece of –“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He paused at the droid’s sounds, listening intently. He wasn’t great at understanding binary, but he could pick out enough pieces to know that Chopper had been sent to wake him and ‘if he had, had his way, Kanan would be covered in boiling water’.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan gritted his teeth, kicking the machine away as he stood, digging through the compartment under his bunk. He pulled out a set of clothing and rushed to the refresher before showering and changing. Stumbling, he made his way out and down the hall towards the cargo bay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He found Hera right where Chopper said she’d be…Standing in front of the loading ramp. Kanan skidded to a stop in front of her, noticing for the first time that the ship wasn’t in motion and the ramp was lowered into flowing grass.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Woah,” Kanan said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t know we had landed?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not at all,” Kanan answered, stepping around her and walking down towards the grass. She followed close behind and he went on, “Never been to Lothal before. I think I imagined it much different than this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera shrugged, “It’s a comfortable planet. Temperate….Green with plenty of access to water. It’s too bad the Empire decided they wanted it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Always too bad…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan blinked at the city in the distance. Hera handed him a small holopad and explained, “There’s the list. Mostly just food, but since Tatooine is <em>boiling </em>I thought you could pick up some hats or something. You’ll almost certainly burn under the twin suns.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan scoffed, “I don’t burn easily.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ll burn,” Hera repeated, before warning, “Don’t take too long. A storm is coming and these prairies tend to be hot spots for tornados. I’m going to tether down the ship, but it won’t do you much good if you get stuck outside.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera then turned, making her way up the ramp. She paused, glancing back, “And don’t bring back anything I wouldn’t approve of. Or else you’ll be hiding in Loth-Cat burrows from the storm, understood?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah-yeah,” Kanan waved her off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah-yeah,” She mimicked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan snorted, turning and making his way towards the city as Hera returned to the Ghost. Something in the air told Kanan that Hera was right, a storm was quickly approaching their location. It was as if he could feel the static in the air and the wind picking up through the grass around him. As he approached the city it appeared to get larger and larger. Much more so than he had expected. Along with the Imperial presence splashed directly on the outer buildings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Saying, “So everyone knows…This place is <em>ours. </em>It no longer belongs to you. It never did. And why? Because we say so.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The familiar darkness of the Empire fell overhead along with the same heaviness from the night before. Kanan certainly preferred dealing with pirates and smugglers compared to the Empire. The Force felt so…strange around them. As if it were trying to hide behind Kanan, but he too was shoving it away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just as he expected, the streets were swarming with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Troopers walked about in groups, patrolling, chatting, harassing the civilians. Kanan kept his distance, avoided, and played dumb. The thunder was rolling, taking over the sky, and he felt bitterness that Hera hadn’t told him the storm was so <em>damn close. </em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>He ignored the first drop that hit his nose and carried on about collecting the supplies on the list. Silently, he inspected several wraps, looking for one that might be enough to protect himself and Hera from the harsh suns of Tatooine. It was a shame they couldn’t at least stay on Lothal long enough to see it past the storm. Just avoiding the Imperials would be the key to a nice holiday.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera would never go for it though. She seemed rushed to make it to Tatooine.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After scanning his eyes over one wrap that looked particularly like something Hera would like, Kanan was nearly brought to his knees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Ow. Ow. Ow.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan cringed, grabbing the edge of the vendor’s table to stay upward. The vendor’s eyes widened and he asked worriedly, “Are you alright, sir?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan placed his hand over his abdomen and looked down, half expecting to see a blade sticking out of his flesh. But nothing…Nothing but the dull remnants of the sharp stab that had taken his breath away. Slowly, he released the wrap from between his fingers and whispered, “Yes…I think so…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He blinked, confused. It was there and gone again like it had never arrived. Kanan’s heart began to race and just as he was about to turn and make his way out of the vendor area, he heard a voice bark harshly, “Thief!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan whirled around, staring at a booth several feet away. A rodian was moving from behind his booth and in front of him was a small child, probably no older than seven or eight, holding a jogan close to his chest. The child’s eyes were wide with terror and his hair was sticking to his forehead from the slight downpour that had begun. Kanan hadn’t even noticed…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The vendor was shoved back as two troopers approached. The child turned in an attempt to run away, but one of troopers grabbed him by his hair, yanking him back before striking him across the face harshly. Kanan felt the sting surge through him, much like the pain in his stomach had. He cringed as the child fell to the ground, crying out and holding his face, but the other hand still held tightly to the jogan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Desperate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Starving.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan’s hand slid to his belt and wrapped around his blaster. He was going to regret it later. Everything. He knew, but he had to do something. The Force was standing behind him. His shield had fallen and it took advantage of him, nearly shoving him into action. Kanan didn’t close it fast enough. His hand flew up and he fired, hitting the fruits on the shelf behind the troopers and the vendor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Several people screamed, ducking to the ground. Kanan saw just enough to witness the boy spring to his feet and begin to scurry away, down an alleyway. His inner panic set in, a feeling in the Force stronger than it had been since before his master had perished.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His heart clenched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Breathe.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Breathe.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Run!</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan ducked as one of the storm troopers turned to face him, firing. Kanan shoved the vendor beside him to the ground, hearing a cry escape the other’s lips. Hurriedly, Kanan scrambled back to his feet, rushing into the alley directly beside him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop him!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thunder rolled louder above head and the rain pelted Kanan’s face harshly. The intrusion in the Force was gnawing…the feeling that had once belonged to his master was being invaded and he shoved at it and fought it, but he was too busy running to give it all of his energy. Another blast caused him to duck, but he continued on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wind whipped through the alleys and as Kanan rounded another corner, his eyes scanned the area. Either keep running, or duck into a boarded-up home. A small crawl space was apparent under the door, but Kanan’s decision was made for him when the pain in his stomach returned. He doubled over, deciding to crawl forward into the house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His nose filled with dust instantly and he had to fight not to sneeze. Whirling around, he peered through the cracks of the boards, watching as the troopers ran right by him, unaware of his presence. Kanan sighed with relief, though cringed again when the pain returned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was not the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not the time to get sick or have his appendix explode –</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan stopped his thoughts, turning his head slowly. The room appeared empty, a small sofa and table being the only furniture along with a few stray items here and there. The pain dulled again, but the nagging in the Force didn’t. In fact, it was growing louder, screaming at him. Kanan began to build his shields up again, but they were kicked down. Down. Down. Down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan gripped the side of his head and groaned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Stop. It’s my head. Stop it.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>The Force was relentless if not unbearable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It rung in his ears, yanking him towards the couch and Kanan feared what he would find. Whatever it was, it was something heavy, something connected so deeply within the Force and the Force <em>favored </em>this…thing. The Force favors nothing. The Force is everywhere. So why…?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan stood, slowly approaching the sofa with trembling hands. His heart was still beating rapidly and the pain in him had dulled to a slow pounding. As he rounded the corner, his eyes widened at what he saw…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The child from the market…Staring with wide blue eyes at Kanan, his lip trembling. The jogan was still gripped tightly between his pale hands and his hair was soaked, nearly covering the child’s vision. Kanan let out a slow breath. The Force pushed, whispering vaguely, <em>“Yours.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>No. Definitely not <em>his. </em>From the way the child looked…Pale…Skinny…Dirt on his face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was no ones.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan had once been no ones.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His little cheek was pink from where he had been struck before by the trooper. Despite himself, Kanan kneeled down slowly beside the youngling, whispering quietly as not to be heard by any outsiders, “Hey…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The child’s lashes fluttered and he worried on his thumb nail, chewing anxiously. Eyeing Kanan like an intruder, which he really was. The boy’s shoulders were shaking and he looked so tiny. Definitely no older than seven or eight. He appeared on the verge of tears, but swallowed thickly and responded softly, “Hi.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are…you alright?” Kanan questioned, deciding it was okay for him to sit fully. He continued, “That was…a lot. He hit you pretty hard. But…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The uneasiness in the Force told him so many things. The Force definitely favored the child. The Force was <em>with </em>the child. He was sensitive to it, there was no doubt and that made Kanan’s stomach whirl. The world was dangerous now for any Force sensitive, not just those trained in the Jedi way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Kanan finished. He didn’t know what to say. Kids were hard, they were unpredictable and this one looked ready to run.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To his surprise though, the boy nodded his head in understanding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan felt his throat go dry and he questioned, “What’s your name?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The boy stared at the fruit in his hand a long time before muttering softly, “Ezra…Bridger. Ezra Bridger.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was as if the child was reassuring himself that such a thing was true. The Force was harassing Kanan again, and the shield still wouldn’t hold. The tether between himself and the child was too thick and no matter his attempt to cut it off, the Force continued to insist, <em>“Yours.”</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p><em>“Not mine,” </em>Kanan thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s nice to meet you, Ezra,” Kanan spoke dumbly, “I’m Kanan.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra continued to stare at his jogan and Kanan cleared his throat before crossing his legs and saying, “You can eat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was all he needed to know. Maybe the kid had thought it would be rude to eat in front of him. Maybe he thought Kanan would take it. But the kid hungrily dug into the fruit without hesitation, peeling it apart. Kanan allowed his thoughts to drift…The kid was starving…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had felt it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan rubbed his stomach at the memory of the pain. The obscene pain. <em>Karabast…Hunger pain.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan’s eyes drifted to the window, the rain pelting the boards. He then scanned the dusty and decrepit home before turning his head to Ezra and asking, “Where are your parents?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The kid barely paused and if Kanan hadn’t been watching, he probably wouldn’t have seen it. He answered tentatively, “I stay alone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No response came and Kanan took that as a hint that he was prying too much. He had just met the child after all and even if the Force was being insistent, it was truly none of his business where the child’s mother and father were.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t have a mom and dad either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As the fruit began to dwindle, Kanan asked one last question, “Is this your house?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One final piece of the purple fruit remained. Ezra paused, not throwing it into his mouth, but instead he held it out in offering to Kanan. Kanan blinked in surprise, before something warm washed through him. He shook his head and gave a reassuring look, “It’s alright. I’m not hungry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra hesitated, but when he realized Kanan wasn’t going to take the fruit, he ate it himself. Once he finished chewing, he said, “Thank you for helping me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan hummed in response, “It wasn’t very smart…Stealing that in front of everyone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I…Got really hungry,” Ezra muttered, “I wasn’t thinking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Force shoved at Kanan and he shoved back, standing abruptly. Ezra jumped at the sudden movement and Kanan spoke, “I’m just checking the storm.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra looked away, appearing embarrassed at the flinch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan approached the window, looking through the cracks and up at the sky. It was dark, the wind was howling harshly. The entire city seemed to be bowing to the wind…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To the Empire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’d never make it across the prairie. Not without the risk of being carried away by the wind. Sighing, he turned back towards the sofa where Ezra was peering around, watching him from behind the couch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mind if I be a squatter until the storm passes?” Kanan asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra shook his head slowly, “I don’t mind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The child seemed uneasy about it. He was probably wondering why a random person was even in his house. But the loneliness in the Force was lifting slowly. It provoked Kanan to ask again, “Where are your parents?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blue eyes stared. The child chewed on his nails again, pondering on the question. Pondering on an answer. Looking for a <em>lie </em>or a truth somewhere in his head. Suddenly though, he jumped to his feet, surprising Kanan slightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The child pushed the small table aside, revealing a hole in the floor. Without saying a word, he began to climb the ladder down into the hole and Kanan only hesitated slightly in following. He knew he was meant to come, he didn’t need to be told aloud. The air became stuffier the lower they went and finally Kanan’s feet came to solid ground below.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra was standing across the tiny room, perched in front of a small technical set up. Kanan moved beside him, and finally Ezra turned to look up at him with his blue eyes. Eyes asking for trust and eyes asking for understanding. He was so small compared to Kanan and the pain on the youngling’s face was startling to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They used to talk, late at night when they thought I was asleep,” Ezra explained, his hand sliding over the tech, as if reminiscing. Like someone so much older than himself. He continued, “They would say that the Empire was <em>wrong </em>and…broken. Then one day…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra bit his lip, “The troopers took them away.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan’s chest constricted sharply and pain shot through him at the memory of his master being murdered. Taken away. Guilt rang through him, but not just himself. It was shooting through Ezra as well. Kanan sat down heavily on a stool behind him and Ezra’s head yanked in his direction, his eyes wide.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had felt it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He felt it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“It’s alright,” Kanan reassured when fear crossed the child’s face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra whispered, “I just –“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” Kanan insisted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The questioning look Ezra gave him made his chest hurt. He was confused. He wanted answers and Kanan was the only one that held them, but he couldn’t…Not right now. Maybe not ever. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t know this kid and yet the Force was squeezing its way where it didn’t belong and Kanan just wanted it to <em>go the hell away.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>He couldn’t tell Ezra. Not if it could be used against him in the future.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra didn’t belong to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Then who does he belong to?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>No one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“That’s a lie.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>His parents could come back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“They won’t.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Ezra pulled Kanan from his thoughts, saying, “I might move soon…To the tower on the prairie. It’s getting hard to stay hidden here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not safe for storms,” Kanan advised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” Ezra whispered, “But the soldiers are scarier.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan nodded. He agreed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Take him. Take him. Take him.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan shoved the thoughts away again. Ezra wasn’t his to take. If some miracle occurred and his parents did come back, their child would be across the galaxy and that wasn’t <em>fair. </em>Kanan had no right. No claim. Ezra was too small to be bringing on their journey anyway. A youngling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan jumped suddenly when his com came to life and Hera’s voice spoke worriedly, “Hello? Spectre Two to Spectre One, come in…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hurriedly, Kanan pressed the come and answered, “I copy.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a sigh of relief before a flood of anger, “I told you to be back before the storm!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I…” Kanan’s eyes found the child in front of him and he continued, “Ran into a bit of trouble. I’m fine though and I’ll be back as soon as the storm lets up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suddenly, the conversation was interrupted by the sound of footsteps from above. Kanan’s head snapped upward, as did Ezra’s, peering through the small opening above head. Instinctively, Kanan grabbed the child and yanked him close, waiting as a trooper moved its head over the side and looked down at them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then the firing began.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan dove under the desk, dragging Ezra with him. Kanan quickly covered the child’s mouth with his hand as the shots rang through the small space, destroying everything in their path. Ezra squirmed and Kanan used his free hand to rub the child’s arm, trying to soothe him. But the panic was there. Ezra wanted to scream and Kanan’s hand was preventing it. The blasters stopped and Kanan knew that if he allowed Ezra to make noise, his plan of defense would be ruined.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could hear the troopers climbing down the ladder, speaking orders to one another. From what he could hear, there were three soldiers. Kanan held Ezra tighter when the boy squirmed more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as their feet hit the ground, Kanan jumped out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shoving Ezra to the floor, Kanan used his own blaster to take out two of the three soldiers. The third fired at Kanan’s hand, shooting his weapon and essentially blowing it to bits. Kanan growled in frustration, holding his hand out and willing the trooper’s weapon to come to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As soon as the weapon flew into his arms, he used it to fire on the final trooper, who fell rigidly to the ground. Kanan’s eyes slowly lowered to Ezra who was staring up at what he had done in shock. Kanan cursed mentally…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had just exposed…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan dropped the gun before reaching down. Ezra shied away, his face pale and his nails were digging into the cement floor. Kanan shook his head and reassured, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He glanced up, worried more would be arriving soon. Hurriedly he looked back down at Ezra and continued, “You have to come with me. More will come and they’ll take you. You <em>have</em> to come with me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“B-But you just –“ Ezra began but Kanan was quick to interrupt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I <em>know</em>,” Kanan hissed, “But you have to <em>trust </em>me right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To his relief, the child’s trembling hand reached back towards his own. Kanan took it, lifting Ezra to the ladder. The two climbed hurriedly, emerging back into the living room of the home. Once they were outside, Kanan pulled Ezra under his coat with him, nearly having to drag the child through the wind and rain while lightning cracked across the sky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The streets were basically empty and Kanan wondered…no he knew…The Force had set these events into motion to get what it wanted. Kanan held Ezra tightly against his side, and the walk seemed so much longer than it actually was until they reached the prairie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The wind was so much stronger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan swore if he hadn’t been holding Ezra close, the kid would have flown away several times. The rain felt like glass against his skin and the grass tangled up their legs. But nothing…Nothing warned him when a giant piece of metal debris came hurling towards them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It felt like being hit by a speeder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both Kanan and Ezra hit the ground hard, and Kanan felt the warmth of blood slide down his face as his forehead opened up. Hurriedly he rolled over, gasping for air as it had been shoved from his body without mercy. Reaching out, he grabbed Ezra’s arm and yanked him close, inspecting the boy’s face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A small cut on the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra’s eyes were watering, but the child looked more startled than anything, especially when he saw Kanan’s forehead. Kanan wanted to reassure him he was fine, but there was no way he was going to be heard over the wind. Instead he unsteadily stood to his feet, bringing the boy into his arms this time, carrying him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He pressed Ezra’s head into his shoulder, just in case anymore debris decided to take them out. He could see the Ghost, inching closer and closer as time ticked on and Kanan thought he would never hear anything ever again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera must have seen them though, because the ramp opened before he even made it there and Hera carefully approached the entrance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once he was within arms-reach, Hera grabbed him and pulled him inside. Kanan stumbled to his knees as Hera rushed to the controls and sent the ramp closing, suddenly enveloping them in silence, the howling of the wind dull and distant. Kanan breathed heavily, still holding Ezra tightly before he peered up at Hera from his place on the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera was staring, not just at the gash on Kanan’s head, but at the child in his arms. She seemed shocked before she blinked into reality. Kanan gasped quietly, “I…can…explain…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Later,” Hera was hiding her emotions. She had pushed the surprise away and now wore the face of the concerned friend that she was. She approached just as Kanan was releasing Ezra from his hold. Ezra stepped back, his eyes wide as he looked at Kanan. The man would have laughed, seeing the boy’s raven locks set askew on his head and he could only imagine how his looked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan asked Ezra, “You okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera had begun to help him to his feet and the child nodded. Kanan shooed her off before saying, “Check him first.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera hesitated, turning to the boy. Ezra looked at her with a terror in his eyes. She reached out, and Ezra only flinched slightly, looking at Kanan and then back at her. Hera tilted his head up, running her finger near the scrape on his nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Think it’s broken?” Kanan looked about ready to pass out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera shook her head, “No…It’s just a scrape. Probably would have bled more if it was broken.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She then asked Ezra, “Does anything else hurt?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra only shook his head in response before looking at Kanan. He bit his lip and whispered to Hera quietly, “Please fix him.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera looked surprised…Kanan noticed a softness wash over her and she smoothed Ezra’s hair down before turning to Kanan. He jumped at the sudden attention and she pointed back towards the common room, “Go. I’ll get med supplies to clean that up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sounded like an angry mother.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan didn’t argue, making his way where he was told. Ezra began to follow when suddenly Chopper appeared, beeping and whirling angrily towards them. Kanan grunted angrily, kicking the droid out of the way and grabbing Ezra by the arm, seeing the terror in his blue eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The man ordered the droid harshly, “Back off.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra pressed to his side until they were out of reach of the droid and entering the common room. Kanan groaned as he sat down on the bench, pinching the bridge of his nose. Ezra shivered, soaked to the bone from the rain. Kanan observed silently as Ezra began to chew his nails again, looking as if he was close to tears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Large eyes looked around the room anxiously, and Kanan decided…This would be the only time…He reached out through the Force…Pressing comfort towards the child.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The only time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Only.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Not.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kanan cringed, but the boy’s shoulders began to relax and he ignored the way he felt happy that he could at least do that for the child. He continued to chew his nails, even when Hera entered with the med kit and laid out the supplies on the table, standing in front of Kanan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was an awkward silence before Kanan said, “This is Ezra by the way…Ezra, this is Hera.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera looked back long enough to give a tentative smile. She was obviously still very confused as to why the child was here in the first place. Still, she greeted kindly, “Hello Ezra.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra only nodded in return as Hera turned to Kanan, her smile instantly transforming into a glare. Kanan sighed and Hera didn’t hesitate before smearing bacta over his wound. She mumbled quietly, “Why is it that even on a simple supply run, you seem to find trouble?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Trouble finds me,” Kanan defended as Hera wiped away the excess blood and covered his wound with a sticky bandage. She then applied a bit of bacta to her finger, turning to Ezra before spearing the tiniest bit over his nose. She smiled when he blinked, crossing his eyes to look at where the medicine had been applied.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hera hummed, watching the small child, “Strange trouble.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan stood from his seat, swaying only slightly as he leaned against the table and ran a hand through his hair. Ezra stared up at him and Hera turned to face him once more. He reassured, “I’ll bring the kid to lie down…Then I’ll explain everything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra made a face and Kanan could feel the questions that the boy himself had. Kanan simply gestured for Ezra was follow and the two made their way down the hall of the Ghost. Kanan slid the door to his bedroom open, revealing a room with two bunks. Ezra followed him inside and when the door shut behind them, he found them enveloped in a dim light.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan dug silently through a cubby below his bunk before pulling out a shirt and turning to Ezra, he said, “You’ll want to put this on. You’ll get sick in your wet clothes.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra changed silently, slipping off his wet clothing in favor of the dry shirt. Kanan took the clothes Ezra had on and set them aside. They could be washed and dried before the child woke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan almost laughed when he turned and saw Ezra nearly swallowed in the clothes. Standing to his feet he pointed at the bed and Ezra understood. The boy slipped silently beneath the blankets and stared up at the sort-of-stranger above him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s going to happen?” Ezra asked quietly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan wasn’t sure. In fact, he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. He hadn’t meant to bring Ezra with him, but now the Empire would be keeping an eye on the house. The child had no chance…No <em>idea. </em>Especially because Kanan had used the Force in front of the troopers. When they regained consciousness, there would be no telling as to what they remembered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Force had pulled one over his head, that was for sure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll figure it out,” Kanan responded, “I…I will.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ezra’s lip trembled, “But what you did…with the gun…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan shook his head, “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had screwed up so bad.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kanan gave one final, simple order…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sleep.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And then he was gone, leaving Ezra alone in the dimly lit room to. The child’s stomach dropped and everything felt so <em>heavy.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>But, sleep he did.</p>
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